The Adultery Paradigm is a combination of assumptions about homosexuality which plays into some discussions between people coming from different perspectives.
Extramarital affairs are often perceived to often involve people who:
- Believe, at some level, in fidelity.
- Harbor nagging doubts, or rationalize, about the disconnect between their actions and beliefs.
- Portray themselves as victims of circumstance.
- Expect the adulterous phase to be temporary.
As such, adultery isn’t unusual among compulsions or sins. It is just one of many behavior patterns which finds otherwise principled folks contradicting their beliefs and values with their actions, sometimes for years.
Hope for the person caught in this or any compelling or addictive behavior lies in appealing to his or her sense of right and wrong, awakening (or re-awakening) a desire to connect right beliefs with right actions.
When people use this paradigm to describe the behavior of openly gay people as analogous to engaging in adultery, they are often pointing out that the choices and behaviors of gays have separated them from their cultural, familial, and/or faith-based traditions.
In this context, hope for reaching (and changing) gay people, like any other compelling but misguided behavior, is believed to lie in appealing to their sense of right and wrong, sharing faith-based truths, and discussing the importance of personal choice and responsibility.
The problem with using this paradigm is its baseline assumption that gays, at their spiritual core, have a vacuum just waiting to be filled when in fact many or most hold values and beliefs developed over years of spiritual practice and self-examination.